Title: Of the Feminine Persuasion

Author: Black_Wingedbird

Rating: PG

Author's Note: I am just pumping these out! This is written immediately after Break In, while I still have a sense of humor. Basically another Chris/Joey prank.

"Joey come on, you gotta-"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not? Don't you love me?"

"Uh, no."

"Just once-"

"Chris! No!"

"But you did it once for the U Drive Me Crazy video," Chris grinned, realizing Joey was finally breaking down. "Come on, just for a little while, no one will even know. You gotta help me."

"Fine."

"Cuz I help you all the time and- did you say yes?"

"No."

"You did! Thank you so much! This is gonna be so cool!"

"Remind me why we're doing this again," Joey sighed, sitting down in front of Chris.

"To get back at the Backstreet Boys."

"For what?"

"Everything!"

"Fine. Just hurry," Joey pouted. "I still can't believe I agreed to this."

"Because you make a really hot chick, and people will pay to see pictures proving BSB are gay," Chris smiled, bubbling over with excitement as he placed a long brown wig on Joey's head.

Joey sighed as he watched Chris unwrap bottles of make up and lip stick. He looked ridiculous with silky brown hair that reached his shoulders, and he still couldn't believe he let Chris make him into a girl just to set up the Backstreet Boys. "Nobody better find out about this," he grumbled, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror.

"What color are you, Buff Beige or Warm Beige?" Chris asked, holding two bottles up to Joey's cheeks.

"Can you do this with out making me look like a drag queen?" Joey asked.

Chris rolled his eyes as he chose Buff Beige. "Of course. Trust me, you will look really hot."

~o0O0o~

Joey closed his eyes as Chris began applying the foundation. "Are you sure no one else knows about this?"

"This is harder than it looks," Chris said, carefully rubbing the foundation on Joey's forehead.

"You gotta blend it," Joey said.

"I know how to do it," Chris replied. When he was finished with the foundation, he took the brush and carefully dusted Joey's face with powder. "You're looking better already," Chris smiled proudly.

Joey opened his eyes and had to agree. "I do look like a girl!" he said, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

"I'm not done yet," Chris said, reaching for the eye shadow. "Let's go with this brownish color to enhance those beautiful brown eyes of yours," Chris teased, gently applying the eye shadow. When he was done, he grabbed the mascara. "Open your eyes," he ordered.

Joey obeyed, his pupils dilating to adjust for the light. "Don't gouge my eyes out," he said, tensing as Chris leaned close to his face. Joey watched Chris as he concentrated on carefully putting on the mascara. "Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself," Joey smiled, his face mere inches from Chris's.

"Don't tease me while I'm this close to you and holding a stick in your eye," Chris threatened.

Joey stopped laughing as Chris finished, then found the blush. "I think you look good with Rose Water," Chris announced, sitting back to admire his work. "Oh wait, I forgot the most important part!"

Joey sighed as Chris found a tube of lipstick. "Where did you get all this?" Joey asked.

"I bought it," Chris replied.

"Didn't you feel gay?"

"No. Why?"

"Nothing."

"Don't talk." Chris slowly rubbed the lipstick along Joey's full lips, turning them a shade of Plum Rose. "Very sexy," Chris complemented.

"Thanks, I think," Joey replied. Chris moved out from in front of him and Joey could see himself in the mirror.

"Oh…my…God…" Joey gasped. "I really do look hot!" he smiled, a tear falling his cheek. "I am so pathetic."

"Don't cry, your mascara will run," Chris said, wiping away Joey's tear. "Now let's go get you dressed."

~o0O0o~

"I like this dress," Joey smiled. "It's very comfortable."

"Good," Chris replied. "You look really good in leopard print spandex."

"Thank you. What are we going to do about boobs?"

"I found these little silicon things in a catalogue and ordered them. You'll just have to put a couple on each side."

"Have you have been planning this a while?"

"Yeah. Well we can't use oranges in case BSB gets too friendly," Chris explained as he handed the clear jelly-like blobs to Joey.

"Ew, they're squishy!" Joey exclaimed, dropping them into his under wire. He adjusted himself and looked at Chris. "I can live with this," he grinned, squeezing his new breasts.

"That looks really bad," Chris said, pulling down Joey's hands.

Joey turned around in front of the full-length mirror, admiring his new muscular female body. He turned sideways and cleared his throat. "Uh, what are we going to do about Mr. Happy and his friends?"

Grinning, Chris held up a roll of white medical tape. "You are going to have to tape him down," Chris laughed, throwing the tape to Joey. He started walking out and called over his shoulder, "The tighter the better!"

Joey stared after him, open-mouthed. "I guess this is where your high voice came from, huh?" he yelled to Chris through the closed door.

"Hey, I'm better hung than you, Super Freak!"

~o0O0o~

"Chris, I look like woman."

"Good. Now let me in."

"No, I mean this is too freaky for comfort."

"Good. Now let me in."

Joey sighed and opened the door. Chris came in wearing a smile and admired his work. "You're beautiful!" Chris exclaimed.

"Shut up before I break your neck," Joey grumbled.

"Hey, wait a minute. We forgot something."

"What?"

Chris motioned to Joey's legs, which were still covered in hair.

"I am not shaving my legs!" Joey exclaimed. "Shaving my face was bad enough!"

"Come on, you did everything else-"

"No!"

"Joey, you just taped your dick down for Christ's sake! You will shave your legs!"

"Fine."

"Now get in there and make those legs sexy!"

~o0O0o~

"Okay can we just get this over with?" Joey begged, clunking after Chris in his high heels.

Chris finished putting the film in the camera and laughed. "This is gonna be so cool!"

They got in the elevator and stood next to each other. Joey now stood five inches taller than Chris, and the tight dress showed his muscles, making him look like a fitness trainer. His perfume was overwhelming and he wore a necklace bearing one simple diamond the matched his earrings. His smooth muscular legs and full figure made him extremely attractive, to a point.

"Okay Chris, can we just hurry this along, because I am really uncomfortable."

"All in good time Joey, all in good time."

The elevator stopped on the first floor and opened the doors. In the hallway stood Justin.

"Hey Chris, who's this lovely lady-"

"Now Justin, calm down-"

"Oh my God! You and Joey- Joey's a- oh my God!"

Chris quickly pounded on the ground floor button as Justin looked like he was about to puke. "…That is so gross! Oh my God!"

The doors closed, leaving Justin to think things over by himself. Chris looked at Joey as they began their descent. "He'll live," Chris said.

"I won't."

~o0O0o~

"So all I do is sit here?"

"Yeah," Chris replied, smiling. He pulled the bill of his FuMan Skeeto hat down over his eyes. "I'll be right over there, ready to catch them. And try to act feminine."

"Easy for you to say," Joey mumbled, carefully crossing his legs.

"Bye hot stuff," Chris winked, then he picked a booth to sit and wait.

Joey sat as the bar nervously; wishing with all his might this was a dream. "This is insane," he sighed to himself. He looked around impatiently and saw Chris smiling at him, camera in hand. Joey rolled his eyes and looked to the door. Then he groaned when he saw J.C. approaching him.

"Shit," Joey whispered, ducking his head as J.C. sat down next to him.

"Hi there," J.C. smiled, trying to see Joey's face.

"Um, hello," Joey said in a high voice.

"Can I buy you a drink?" J.C. asked.

"Um, no thanks," Joey said, then got up and walked to Chris.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked as Joey plopped down next to him.

"It's J.C.!" Joey exclaimed.

"So?"

"So, what if he recognizes me?" Joey asked.

Chris looked back up to the bar and saw J.C. hitting on a girl with long blonde hair. "He'll be gone in a few minutes. See? He's already working on another girl. Now go back up there!"

Joey sighed and stood up again, nearly tripping on his heels. Then he slunk back to the bar, obviously not very happy.

Both Joey and Chris kept their eyes glued to the door, waiting for a Backstreet Boy to go on lunch break. After a few minutes, J.C. left with the girl he was flirting with, making Joey much more comfortable.

Finally, after a few more minutes, Howie walked in and took a seat next to Joey. Chris straightened up and took his first picture, then waited for things to get good.

~o0O0o~

Howie ordered his drink and sat quietly at the bar. He kept his gaze down, but once n a while he allowed a quick glance at Joey. When he finally got up the courage, he smiled at Joey. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," Joey replied in his female voice.

"Having fun?" Howie asked.

"Not really," Joey replied, batting his eyelashes.

"Me neither. At least not until I saw you."

Joey blushed. "Why thank you," he replied. "You're very sweet."

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Howie asked.

"Oh, you don't have to…" Joey started.

"No, I want to," Howie replied, moving a little closer to Joey.

Joey could imagine Chris taking pictures behind them and decided to speed things up a bit. "You have amazing eyes," Joey said, looking sincerely at Howie.

"Thank you," Howie smiled. "You have an amazing body."

Joey flinched but tried not to show it. He leaned closer to Howie and whispered, "I can do amazing things with it too."

Howie chuckled and looked in Joey's eyes. "You look really familiar…"

Joey turned away. "Really?"

"Yeah, you look like the woman of my dreams."

Joey felt strangely touched. "So do you have a girlfriend?"

"Not currently," Howie replied. "But I may have just found one."

Joey took a drink and glanced back to Chris who was grinning and holding his camera. "Well I'm kinda from outta town…"

"I'm from a bunch of towns," Howie replied.

"I'm not what you think-"

"I love you just the way you are. You're perfect," Howie smiled shyly, placing his hand on Joey's upper thigh.

Joey's breath caught and he could hear Chris laughing. "But you don't understand-"

"I understand that this is love at first sight," Howie blushed, leaning in for a kiss.

"Okay, I'll be back," Joey snapped, jumping up. He walked to Chris, who was staring at him open mouthed.

"What are you doing? This is perfect! Get back there!" Chris exclaimed.

"Chris he's trying to grope me! He felt me up!" Joey cried.

"'That's because you're a woman," Chris explained.

"Come back with me," Joey pleaded.

"No! Then he'll think we're going out!"

"How far do you think this will go?! Don't you think he'd know something was up when he takes me to his house and finds I have a bigger dick than he does?"

"Shut up, here he comes!" Chris whispered harshly.

Howie stood beside Joey and glared at Chris. "Is this who you're going out with? This little white trash momma's boy? This little bastard? You poor woman."

"Hey, I love Chris with all my heart!" Joey exclaimed, standing in front of Chris.

"Hey, fu-" Chris started simultaneously.

"Then prove it," Howie shot back, interrupting Chris.

"Fine!" Joey said. He sat down next to the raging Chris and before the older man knew what was happening, Joey kissed him.

Chris sat in shock as Joey planted his lips firmly on his. Joey kissed him passionately for a few seconds before he was interrupted by a scream.

"Holy shit!" Justin yelled, startling everyone in the bar.

Joey pulled away from Chris and immediately turned red, feeling the hundreds of eyes upon the four of them. Most of the people ignored Justin as he ran over to the booth where Joey, Chris and Howie were. Chris was still in shell shock as Joey dropped his head to the table. Howie looked at both of them in confusion.

"Joey…Chris…I am so sorry you guys, I didn't realize you had a relationship…why didn't you tell anyone? We would have understood-"

"Wait a minute- I'm confused. What's going on?" Howie asked, looking from Joey to Chris and Justin.

Justin looked at Chris, who sat still and blushed. Joey simply kept his head buried in his arms on the table. "It appears that Joey is a transvestite. And he and Chris have a relationship. Oh God, I thought you guys actually had women in your rooms those nights, but it was really just the two of you? I think I'm gonna be sick-"

"Wait a minute, by Joey, do you mean Joey Fatone?" Howie asked, still not recognizing the rival band mate.

Joey looked up and pulled of his wig. "See it now loser?" he snapped. "This was all Chris's idiotic idea to prove you guys were gay, and once again it backfired. Now we look gay and no one will ever let us forget this." Joey let his head fall back in his arms.

Justin looked at Chris. "You're not really gay?"

Chris snapped back to reality, turning terrified eyes to Justin. "You swear not to tell anyone, you skinny little twerp?"

"I…uh…" Justin stuttered, seeing the threatening stare Chris was sending him. "Hey man, this thing is totally between you and Joey."

"Well I don't really care anyway because I have the pictures!" Chris beamed, realizing he had the camera held tightly in his hand.

"Oh my God, you mean I was coming on to Mr. No Style here?" Howie gasped, suddenly realizing the price of his mistake.

Chris smiled. "And I have proof."

"But he kissed you," Howie shot back.

"Prove it," Chris argued. "Nobody here saw anything, did they?"

Joey looked up with hope in his eyes. "I sure as hell didn't."

They looked to Justin. "I wasn't even here," he sighed, turning and heading for the door.

"So looks like you're screwed and we're not," Chris smiled at Howie.

"All right puss, what do you want for them?" Howie mumbled. "I'm not doing you any sexual favors though."

"My stomach turns at the thought," Chris replied sarcastically. "You'll just have to bid on them like everyone else."

"You wouldn't."

"It's as good as done," Chris replied.

"You better watch you back you lying snake!" Howie exploded. "One of these nights when you're alone- mark my words you're gonna be mine!" Howie then turned and stormed out of the bar.

Chris looked at Joey. "You think he was serious?"

"Like he could do anything that painful," Joey said, downplaying his true feelings.

"Even so, maybe I could stay in J.C.'s room tonight," Chris said, getting up.

"What would J.C. do, sing to him?"

Chris smiled. "Did you really mean that about loving me?"

Joey looked at the floor. "No. Well, yeah, but not like that. I mean, you're my brother."

"Thanks," Chris smiled, placing his hand on Joey's shoulder. "That means a lot. I love you too."

"Don't worry about it," Joey said as they walked out of the bar. "Just try not to say it in public again unless I'm dressed like this."

End

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